When School Discipline Feels Unfair: Advocating for Equity and Restorative Practices
When a child is suspended, sent out of class, or otherwise disciplined at school, it can feel frustrating, confusing, or even deeply unfair—especially when the consequences don’t seem to match the behavior. For many families, especially those of students of color and students with disabilities, this experience is not uncommon. Data consistently show that these students are disciplined more often and more harshly than their peers for similar behaviors.
At One and All, we believe every child deserves to be treated with dignity, fairness, and empathy. School discipline should help students learn and grow—not push them out of the classroom. That’s why it’s so important for families to understand their rights and to advocate for restorative, equitable approaches to addressing behavior.
The Problem: Disparities in School Discipline
National and local data reveal persistent disparities in how school discipline is applied. Black students, students with disabilities, and English language learners are disproportionately suspended, expelled, or referred for discipline. These practices often lead to missed class time, decreased engagement, and, in some cases, long-term harm such as involvement in the juvenile justice system—a phenomenon known as the “school-to-prison pipeline.”
These disparities are rarely about student behavior alone. Implicit bias, inconsistent enforcement of policies, and lack of culturally responsive supports all play a role.
A Better Way: Restorative Practices
Restorative practices offer a more just and effective alternative. Instead of punishing students, restorative approaches focus on repairing harm, rebuilding trust, and restoring relationships. This might look like a mediated conversation between students, a circle process to address conflict, or support for students in understanding how their actions affect others.
Restorative practices benefit everyone involved. They reduce repeat incidents, improve school climate, and help students build essential skills like empathy, accountability, and communication. Restorative practices shift the focus from punishment to healing, accountability, and community repair.
Instead of detention or suspension, a restorative approach might include:
A mediated conversation to resolve conflict
A circle process that gives everyone a voice
Support for understanding how behavior impacts others
Collaborative problem-solving and behavior planning
These strategies help students build skills in empathy, communication, and self-reflection, and keep them connected to their school community.
What Families Can Do
If your child is facing discipline that feels unfair, you have the right to ask questions and advocate for more equitable approaches.
Here’s how to start:
Request the school’s discipline policy and documentation about the incident
Know your child’s rights—especially if they have an IEP or 504 Plan
Request a meeting with school staff to express concerns
Ask about restorative options like mediation or conflict circles
Document all communication and keep a clear record
Seek support from an advocate, education lawyer, or conflict resolution coach
Every Child Deserves to Be Seen and Heard
Discipline doesn’t have to be about punishment. It can be about growth, healing, and learning. By working together—families, educators, and communities—we can build more equitable school environments where every student feels safe, supported, and valued.
If your family is facing a school discipline challenge, One and All is here to help. We provide educational advocacy and restorative conflict resolution services to ensure your child is treated fairly and with care.
